Amtopians, by Logan Davis

(Download the audio version of this story here, or click the play button below. Read by Vincent LaRosa.  Story illustrations by Nick GuckerMike Dominic, and Steve Santiago.

Publisher’s Note: A few months ago, my 10-year-old son Logan wrote a little science fiction horror story.  I was very proud of him, and I really enjoyed reading it.  Then I got to thinking… it’s a bit Lovecraftian, too!  Why not publish it in a future issue?  It will encourage him to write more, and, I thought you guys might get a kick out of it.   I did very little editing; I wanted to preserve the story just as he wrote it.  Enjoy!

Amtopians — illustration by Steve Santiago — click to enlarge

Prologue. 

I’m not going to make this sound like this is like some fairy tale or mythical tale or something like that.  It’s just a night I will never forget.  I am not going to add some cool stuff, like I thought I saw something in the corner of my eye; I’m just going to tell you what really happened.

Chapter 1: Nightfall. 

I was just doing a regular night for me, going to the bathroom, brushing my teeth; lately, since I was sick, I had been hearing these voices.  I thought it was just because I was sick.  I always thought to myself what were they saying?  Because they were too soft to hear.  I mostly ignored it, but you know minds sometimes, they always think about stuff that you don’t know about.

So this night, I was going to try to listen to what they were saying.  So I did so.  First, I read my 45 minutes for homework; then, I got real comfy in my bunk bed, away where I wasn’t covering one of my ears like I normally do.  Gently snuggling into the blankets, I heard a noise.  I thought, “wow, that was soon!  Normally it’s when my mind starts wandering if the voices are still here.”

So I listened.  And listened.  It seemed like hours to me.  Of course, since I had a clock in my room, it was only a rotten 15 minutes!  But then, out of the blue, I heard what seemed to be like a little dark laugh.  It was very quiet, for that matter.  I bet it didn’t want to wake me up, not knowing I was still awake.  I not dare to open up my eyes, for what I would see, or what would see me, I bet would be terrible, because that’s a voice only a mother could love!

I can’t really explain it to you; because, well, I didn’t know what it was.  I never will.  So as I sat there just thinking about what to do, it stopped.  I could hear something moving.  I thought to myself, “What on earth?  Maybe somebody else is here… or someTHING.”  I closed my eyes as tight as I could, because I was afraid of what I might see.

Listening very closely, I could hear what sounded like whispers.  Trying to make it out, I could only make out a few words:

“Do we do it tonight?  Something something something”… something else I could not understand.  I tried to fall asleep, wondering in my head.  Eventually, after what I bet was about an hour, but it felt to me like ten.  As I wondered, and wondered, about what they were talking about (of course I couldn’t hear them any more, they must have heard my dog or cats), I gently fell to sleep.

Chapter 2: During the night.

“What?!”  I seemed to scream out loud, which I hope I didn’t.  I forced myself to open my eyes.  The people, or whatever they were, were still there.  Thank God and only Him that I didn’t cry out loud!  Probably I was having a nightmare.  I looked up — they were speaking really clear now, but of course in a different language, so I didn’t worry about them.  Seemed like the sun was coming up soon, because my clock showed 5am.  Again, I didn’t worry about them, because they were facing the opposite direction, because I didn’t even think that they knew that I knew that they were there.  So they didn’t think I would have nightmares.

Hoping that my parents would walk in at any moment, of course I knew it couldn’t happen — because it was five in the morning and yesterday was Friday, so it must be Saturday!  I HAVE to try to go to sleep, otherwise I may drive myself insane!  So I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 3: Breaking dawn.

Groan.  I’m TIRED.  I guessed the people or whatever they were kept me worrying all night, so I didn’t get good sleep.  “What time is it?” I said as my alarm clock went off.  I didn’t want to sleep in that day because I wanted to play outside a long time.  School had been hard this week.

I basically did my regular routine of getting up on Saturdays, I argued with myself to see if I wanted to get up or sleep in.  Normally, the “get up” one, but today I fell asleep for ANOTHER hour or so.

When I woke up, my parents were looking at me in a funny way.  “You slept in late,” my mother said, surprised.

“You sure did, son,” my dad supported.

“What?  What are you guys doing in here?” I asked sleepily.

“We came to check if you were alright,” my mother responded.

“I just decided to sleep a little bit late,” I replied.

“Okay, sonny,” my dad said, in his funny voice.  He always seemed to have a voice like from TV shows or something.  I told them to please get out of my room, because I wanted to get dressed into my biking shirt and jeans.

Amtopians — illustration by Mike Dominic — click to enlarge

Chapter 4: High noon.

I went into the town to see if any of my friends were out at the skate park.  For some odd reason, there wasn’t anybody really in the town.  Stores weren’t open, it was more like a desert than any town.  Of course it had no sand and it wasn’t hot!

I went back to my house.  My parents must have gone out, they were going to a party.  So, I figured out that it was about noon.

Amtopians — illustration by Nick Gucker — click to enlarge

I went inside to play video games.  I thought it was pretty much the only thing to do, since, well, nobody was outside.  I looked through my games, “Planet 51”, “Batman: Arkham City”, “Alien Invasion”… wait!  I don’t have “Alien Invasion”!

I decided to put in in my PS3 — if it was a movie, I could see what it was, if it was a video… well, why would it be a video?  Let’s just see what it does.

I put it in, and here’s what it had: “Hello aliens!  We are Amtopians!  We have come to take over your technology and destroy your planet!  If you are hearing this, you are one of the few we have not already destroyed.  We thank you for helping us, puny creature!  If you try to stop us, you will die painfully!  By this time tomorrow, or whatever you call the next day on this planet, you and your planet will have been destroyed!”  I could tell that he was trying to hide the smirk on his face, let alone trying to not laugh.

I was really scared!  But at that moment, I saw a light.  Strange, I thought to myself.  Unwillingly, I walked towards it.  I touched it, and aaaaaaaaah!!!

Chapter 5: Morning.

I woke up in my bed, screaming.  It had all been a dream, I said, comforting myself.

What was a dream?” a weird creature with a funny voice said.

“Huh?” I said, surprised, as I looked down from my bunk bed.  I saw an ugly creature!  It was the creature I saw on the video!  The Amtopians really took over, and now they were after me!

Logan with George the cat — click to enlarge

Logan Davis is 10 years old and in the 5th grade.  He enjoys reading on his new Kindle, playing PS3 games, and playing outside with his friends.  He was once written up in the local newspaper for his random acts of kindness to neighbors.  Needless to say, his parents are very proud of him.

If you enjoyed this story, let Logan know by commenting below — and please use the Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus buttons below to spread the word.

Story illustrations by Nick GuckerMike Dominic, and Steve Santiago.

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13 responses to “Amtopians, by Logan Davis

  1. FAB, Logan!! ! You keep writing! !!!!!!!!!!!!

    {And its OK to charge yer dad for helping him out w/ his tales, and all the red pens you’re using correcting his work.}

  2. Great job Logan! I liked how times seems to be altered, “It seemed like hours to me. Of course, since I had a clock in my room, it was only a rotten 15 minutes!” and ” Eventually, after what I bet was about an hour, but it felt to me like ten.” A sense of distorted time, to me, is very troubling, along with the disappearance of everyone in the town. Keep writing young sir!

  3. I’m really impressed, Logan! You’re doing an excellent job for such a young writer. Keep it up and in a few years your name may even become as well known as Asimov, Bradbury, and other sci fi greats. One of the keys to becoming a fine writer – just one, mind you – is to read, read, and read more!

  4. You are just 10 years old and you already show such a talent. It’s impressive, honestly. Keep on writing. Write as much as you can. Read as much also.

  5. I loved this story, Logan! It gave me such a bizarre feeling… one you could get when familiar landmarks like time and space get all tangled. You have a very cool writing voice. Well done!

  6. Well done, effectively creepy, especially the walk through the deserted town and the return to the empty house. Liked the twist at the end. Keep on writing!

  7. Great work Logan. I love your aliens and the way the story ended. Am looking forward to reading much more of your work. Keep on writing.

  8. AWESOME JOB, LOGAN! Keep up the writing! When I was young, around your age, I began a journal so I could remember my daily adventures.

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